Television Without Stupidity

The Suitcase: …stink like a guy who vomits all over himself. Don ruins Peggy's birthday, tells her she has no ideas, and then yaks in front of her. Is it any surprise they're now closer than ever?

Fall Pilot Season: Terriers : No gone-to-the-dogs jokes here. This dark new private eye series from FX moves fast, could be the next Veronica Mars and had an action-packed premiere that only improves upon repeated viewing.

Six Chefs Compete, Part Two: The remaining would-be chefs must catch and prepare fish for a trio of food critics who radiate disinterest at the entire proposition. But that's nothing compared to the pulse-pounding action of watching soufflés bake in what feels like real time.

Coming Clean: The Brigade drops its final grenade.

Six Chefs Compete: The would-be chefs try their hand at cooking venison before an elimination challenge forces them to prepare dessert. Boy, you can really taste the salmonella in this dish!

Finale Part 1: The cheftestants travel to Singapore and have to cook Asian food. You'd think Angelo would have an advantage with that, but the playing field is pretty level, and it's anyone's game.

Welcome to High Fashion: We whittle our way down to fourteen finalists, one of whom will win an Italian Vogue shoot.

You Can Totally Wear That Again: I wonder what the brides looked like.

So: Gemma, Jax and Clay all spend the episode being reminded how hard it is to be a working parent -- Gemma, because she's now on the lam; Jax, who's near-catatonic over Abel's abduction; and Clay, because he has to chivvy a grief-numbed Jax through trying to find out where Abel is.

Reunion, Part II: The Real Housewives of New Jersey wrap up the season with some screaming, some yelling, some hugging, and more Kim G. ass crack.

There's No C In Team: Cathy finds her people. Just where she left them.

Gastro-nauts: The cheftestants have to cook space food, and this late in the competition, it truly is anyone's game. No, for real.

Fresh Blood: Penultimate showdown between vampires and the sun! Fathers and sons! Mothers and daughters! Dog-people! Cat-people! All the people! Doing it!

Episode 5: The lack of drama reaches stupefying new heights as the most likely people are sent home. Again.

Hide and Seek: Just what the houseguests need -- a $10,000 incentive to trash the house even more.

The Suitcase: …stink like a guy who vomits all over himself. Don ruins Peggy's birthday, tells her she has no ideas, and then yaks in front of her. Is it any surprise they're now closer than ever?

Waldorf Stories: …a whole lot of people, apparently. Don does win one, but that's about the only good thing that happens to him this episode. Also, Peggy gets naked, and it's better than sex.

Sick Jokes: Matt comes clean to the jury, giving them a chance to get an early start on their judging.

Not So Shore: Sammi is too moronic to deduce who wrote the letter, so she doubles up on stupidity and starts a fist fight with JWOWW. Sitch runs out of girls and nearly hits it with a tranny.

You Can Totally Wear That Again: I wonder what the brides looked like.